Elders And Their Families

by David Padfield

Those who serve as elders in the church of our Lord watch out for our souls "as those who must give account" (Hebrews 13:17). Long before being given this awesome responsibility, they must "first be proved" (1 Tim. 3:10). This "proving" or "testing" of elders and deacons can take place in many ways. I submit that their home is one of the best "proving grounds" available.

When some Christians think of the qualifications for elders, they sum it up somewhat like this: "Elders must be married and have children who were baptized." While this is certainly true, there is far more involved than this.

Let us notice those qualifications for elders which deal with the home and family relationship.

The Elder And His Wife

In 1 Timothy 3:2, Paul said, "A bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife" There has been much written as to whether a man who has been divorced could serve as an elder. Many translations of this verse simply use the phrase "the husband of one wife" (King James, New King James, Revised Standard, New American Standard, and King James II).

About half of the translations I checked made it plain that the elder could only have been married one time. Notice these:

• "he must be married only once" (Moffatt)
• "only once married" (Goodspeed)
• "true to his one wife" (Weymouth)
• "married only once" (New American Bible; Wuest)
• "he must have been married only once" (Barclay)

The wife of an elder or deacon must be above reproach. They must be "reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things" (1 Tim. 3:11). Notice a few translations:

• "Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things" (KJV)
• "The women likewise must be serious, no slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things" (RSV)
• "Their wives must be serious too; they must not be slanderers, they must be temperate and absolutely trustworthy" (Moffatt)
• "Their wives too must be serious, not gossips; they must be temperate, and perfectly trustworthy" (Goodspeed)
• "let their women be honorable, not given to slander, temperate, faithful in all things" (KJ II)
• "their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything" (NIV)

Ruling His Own House Well

The elder must be one who "rules his own house well" (1 Tim. 3:4, NKJ). The primary meaning of "rule" is to "govern" or "manage." This thought is brought out by most translations:

• "he must manage his own household well" (RSV)
• "able to manage his own household properly" (Moffatt)
• "managing his own house well" (Goodspeed)
• "ruling his own household wisely and well" (Weymouth)
• "he must rule his own house well" (KJ II)
• "he must manage his own family well" (NIV)

The Elder And His Children

Two verses deal specifically with the character of the elder's children. In 1 Timothy 3:4, we find he is to have "his children in submission with all reverence" (NKJ). These words are rich with meaning. Various translations treat these words in different ways. Notice these:

• "having his children in subjection with all gravity" (KJV)
• "keeping his children submissive and respectful in every way" (RSV)
• "having his children in subjection with all gravity" (ASV)
• "keeping his children in subjection with complete gravity" (Adams)
• "(able) to keep his children submissive and perfectly respectful" (Moffatt)
• "keeping his children under control and perfectly respectful" (Goodspeed)
• "with children kept under control with true dignity" (Weymouth)
• "keeping his children under control without sacrificing his dignity" (NAB)
• "keeping his children under control with complete dignity" (Barclay)
• "keeping his children under control with all dignity" (NAS)
• "see that his children obey him with proper respect" (NIV)
• "having his children in obedience, with all honor" (KJ II)
• "holding children within the sphere of implicit obedience, doing so with the strictest regard to propriety" (Wuest)

In Titus 1:6, we find the elder's children are to be "faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination" (NKJ). Many translations use the words "profligate," which means, "recklessly wasteful" or "given over to self-indulgence." Please note to these translations:

• "faithful children not accused of riot or unruly" (KJV)
• "his children are believers and not open to the charge of being profligate" (RSV)
• "having children that believe, who are not accused of riot or unruly" (ASV)
• "with children who believe and who are not liable to the charge of being profligate or insubordinate" (Moffatt)
• "whose children are Christians, free from any suspicion of profligacy or disobedience" (Goodspeed)
• "having children who are themselves believers and are free from every reproach of profligacy or of stubborn self-will" (Weymouth)
• "the father of children who are believers and are known not to be wild and insubordinate" (NAB)
• "children who are also believers, who cannot be accused of profligacy, and who are not undisciplined" (Barclay)
• "having faithful children, not accused of behaving loosely or being unruly" (KJ II)
• "trustworthy children not open to a charge of incorrigibility or rebellion" (Adams)
• "having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion" (NAS)
• "whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient" (NIV)

Conclusion

In 1 Timothy 3:5, Paul explained why elders have to "rule their own house well." He said, "For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?" It is not enough for a man to have children who have been baptized, they be "submissive and respectful in every way."

The father of unruly children is not fit to shepherd and lead the people of God in any way. For him to do so would subject the church to the ridicule of the community and the disdain of God.

Those who desire to serve as elders need to start making preparation while their children are still in the cradle. A man can not wait till his children leave his house to make it on their own and then decide to have a godly home.

• Qualified Overseers, a series of four sermons on the eldership, covering every qualification for elders, along with practical applications of the specific qualifications (PDF file size: 687k)
• Elders And Their Character
• Elders And Their Work
• Elders And Their Communities
• Shepherds Of The Flock